If you hadn’t noticed from your Facebook and instagram feeds today, it’s the last day of 2017. You might think; “Surely, this isn’t another narcissistic wank bank of yearly round ups, we’ve had plenty of those,” but my friends, you would be wrong, because this is just that. So hold onto your 2018 deely bobbers, because this here, is the year that was, 2017.
Bloggity Blog Blog
So let’s start at the very beginning, and the beginning of the year begun with this blog. I was coming to the end of therapy, and my therapist said that blogging is a good way to stay motivated in recovery. I have read blogs for a few years, I am a big consumer of YouTube and the idea of blogging kind of made sense. There was also a massively selfish reason to blog for me. I wanted to explain to my friends and family what had been happening for the past 5 years, where I had been and why I had acted the way I had. A few of my friends knew I was in therapy but most didn’t, and a blog felt the best way in telling them without having to answer any questions of disclose what had happened a million times over. So I wrote, I explained, and my friends and family were genuinely the most supportive they could have been. And it did exactly what it said on the tin; I have never had to explain myself to anyone, not once.
Beyond the initial plan to blog about my recovery, I have written posts I am really proud of. I have written about dating and my mental health and I love writing and getting feedback from people I know and people I don’t. Over the past couple of months, I feel much more a part of the blogging community, and am connecting with lots of super supportive women who make me want to blog more consistently over the next 12 months. I know I am a little minnow in this large ocean of bloggers but this year I have written 17 posts, received over 13,000 hits and been read by people in the UK, US, Europe and New Zealand. I have had my story of my recovery from an eating disorder published in Fabulous and Woman magazine, and accepted my first brand gift to the Gin festival (I can be bought for booze). Not bad for someone who just needed to tell my friends I was a bit fucked for a while.
Recovery, Ditching the Diet and my Mental Health
Five years ago I was depressed, anxious and fully engrossed in a decade long Binge Eating Disorder. This year, I finished a 20-week eating disorder program, came off all of my anxiety medication and ditched dieting for good. I have honestly never felt as good in my adult life as I do now. It has not been an easy year to manage mental health wise, and I massively fell into a false sense of security whilst in therapy that I was fixed and my eating disorder was done for. I had a massive blip in October this ear and had one of my most miserable birthdays to date. But, after confessing all on here, I implemented my recovery program and accepted that I needed to let go of restricting and dieting to finally live the life I want.
It is still a challenge managing my recovery, and I am unlearning so many things I thought were true about myself for the past 32 years. But today, I am a content little bean with my lot and I haven’t binged since November. Success.
If 2016 was the year of ghosting, 2017 was the year of the textlationship. I have virtually dated more men this year than I have physically dated in my whole life. Why so shy boys? 2018 will definitely be the year I get off my phone and into the bars, because I deserve a Gin and Tonic before you try and get your rocks off, gents.
A massive thing for dating in 2017 for me, is that I kind of fell in love with being single, and as a consequence found dating so much more fun and enjoyable. I stopped looking for a relationship, and instead began to enjoy meeting up with different people, learning about love, heartbreak, and all the weird shit people do when looking for ‘the one’.
I became more confident when dating; I stopped caring what they thought of me and more about what I thought of them. I learnt that I was liked not despite of the way I look but because of it
, and I have practically snot laughed with my single friends at the ridiculous situations we have ended up in this year (toilet jerker anyone). I have been ghosted, zombied and catfished this year and I have honestly never had more fun.
Overall, my love life is both amazing and terrible and I kind of feel quite comfortable with that this year.
When you are single and your mental health is down the pan, it is easy to focus solely on your career, which is exactly what I have done over the past decade. As a consequence I am riding relatively high in a social work job that most people burn out from within 7 years. But I am a chaser, chasing the next challenge, next job, next promotion, and after 2 years of doing the same role, I began the year wondering if I needed a different challenge. So I went for two new managerial job roles and got neither. At first I was gutted, but then a sense of relief washed over me, as I knew how much more of my life these roles would take from me.
Instead, I picked up my big girl knickers, asked my boss for a promotion and a pay rise and got exactly that in November of this year. My new job role means I get to spend more time with the kids I work with and less time in the office. Alongside this, hopefully I will be able to continue to build some work/life balance and spend more time developing this blog.
The year that was 2017, it felt like a pretty pinnacle year, a life changer, a new beginning. I have completed a beginners cake decorating course, got drunk in fields, danced at festivals, ate Oysters in Whitstable, kissed boys in da club, sea swam in the rain, glamped in Dorset, fed baby goats, got new tattoos, climbed high ropes with teenagers, hunted eggs in the garden, baked enough cake to sink a ship, fell asleep (passed out drunk) whilst watching 50 cent live, completed week 7 of C25k (weeks 8 and 9 to be completed in January), beat 20 kids at go karting, brunched so many times I am basically all pancake right now, drunk a lot of gin and solidified friendships. It was a pretty good year.
So that’s my year in a nutshell, what was your 2017 like? I’d love to hear all of your yearly round ups.